The Point of It All

  -- By Arulnambi K.

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"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"
    -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today, on my late father's 74th birthday, I pause to take stock. It's been close to a year and a half since my family lost both my parents within a month of each other. The two websites started last year (Dr. K. Kanthimathi and Dr. K. V. Kaliappan) were established to share and celebrate their lives, virtues and ideals, and more importantly, to serve as platforms to establish their legacy as something beyond just fond recollections of memories.

So, the time has come to articulate what that "something beyond" would be. What does it really mean to extend or establish someone's legacy after they are gone from this world? Some of the feedback and comments received in response to the blog posts about my parents have conveyed a very existential sense of permanent loss that can never be repaired. Others stated that time would repair the loss and it was important to move on, knowing that my parents' spirits would be with us forever. This comment from a friend stood out for me:

"Honestly, how futile life is. So much knowledge and wisdom disappears as if we flicked a switch. And we are left behind."

Yes, we are left behind. But what else was left behind? And was it something that could be shared, thus benefiting others in substantial and meaningful ways? Here, I have looked to my father for guidance. Soon after my mother's demise, he had started shaping his thoughts on how we may carry forward her legacy by marrying her passions and her ideals, many of which they shared as a couple and as parents, with his own passion for social change and the betterment of human beings. He was gone too soon to start working on his vision, but he shared enough of his thoughts with his sons to enable us to shape them into a broad plan and to inspire us to do the really meaningful things. My father's definition of what is meaningful was characteristically simple: How is what you do going to benefit other people, and help those in need?

Here in broad strokes is our statement of intent:

• Establishment of a non-profit entity to serve as the official front for the work to be done.
  
  
• Our vision is to keep alive the wisdom and ideals of our immortal parents, Dr. Kaliappan and Dr. Kanthimathi, for the greater benefit of society and future generations.
  
  
• Our mission is to effect positive change at the individual level for the betterment of all of humanity.
  
  
• Our guiding values are empathy, honesty, respect, creativity, curiosity and diligence.
  
  
• Our focus areas: Parenting, Gender Equality, Health and Women's Health, Nutrition, Education, Personality Development, Leadership Development and Mental Health.
  
  
• Some of our methods: Advocacy, personalized training, coaching, counselling and financial support.

The general approach, again inspired by my father, is not to throw money at a problem. Money is a key enabler for many solutions, but the real, all-important enabler is time, and the willingness to give it freely for a greater good. Our focus areas and methods dictate the need to engage professionals in various ways to advance our mission. For this, we look to the students and friends of our parents for their guidance, and their time, that most precious thing of all.

So, here is the point of it all. The wisdom and ideals of our elders need not die with them. If we stay committed to them in our lives and strive to pass them on, they can live on forever and help everyone, as all precious and good things should.

Look for more communications from us as we work to give more concrete shape to our plans. 

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August 20, 2011 - Feeding birthday cake to his better half.

August 20, 2011 - Birthday celebration with his family