In the Lion’s Shadow

— By Arulnambi K.

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I never knew my paternal grandfather, who passed away before I was born. But I have heard many a thing about him from my father, my grandmother, and other family members and relatives. My grandfather was the youngest of three brothers. The eldest brother was the “Oor Gounder” of their village, the de facto head of the village who played a central role in settling disputes, and had other social leadership functions that were outside the realm of regular local government in those days. ​

Velusamy Gounder at my parents’ wedding in 1968

Tales of my grandfather were striking in their fervor and emotion. He was known to grab a cobra by its tail (snakes were and are still common in those rural areas) and beat its head against a tree to kill it where others would have run away in fear of its bite and poison. When he sat at the head of a bullock cart to drive it, the bulls knew who was in command and would obey and pull at a fast pace even without needing to crack his whip like others would have to. Once, he got angry with someone and yanked the person’s “kudumi” (many men wore “kudumi”, a form of ponytail for their long hair, in those days) right off his scalp. Such was his fabled strength, especially when he was angry. When people complained about his ill-tempered behavior to his elder brother, he would promise to admonish him but later in secret speak rather proudly about how his “thambi” beat someone up.

My grandfather was thus brash and hot-tempered. But he was also fearless and gregarious. When he entered a room full of people, he would quickly become the center of attention. He was quite the opposite of Appa, who in his younger years was quiet but observant, and barely spoke. In temperament, Appa took after his mother much more than his father. 

My grandfather was also fiercely affectionate and loving when it came to his son. He doted on Appa. My grandmother would speak of how he would cut up delicious Malgova mangoes, beckon his son to him, and feed it to him with such love that she would speak of it many a time even decades later. Amma talked about how my grandfather kept a picture of Appa under his pillow when he was ill, not long before he died, and how his love for his son gave him comfort during those times. 

My paternal grandparents at my parents’ wedding in 1968

Appa often spoke of his parents and how they were central influences on him and the moral values he came to hold dear throughout his life. His parents gave him a sense of security, belonging, and a moral and emotional beacon that guided him and kept him content and courageous even in the face of adversity. His father was a towering figure and influence in his younger years. Even though and maybe because he was so much his opposite, my grandfather’s personality, his fierce assertiveness, passion and love, left indelible marks on Appa’s psyche. 

Appa once wrote to me, “Realize that you are the grandson of the most assertive and  lion-like Velusamy Gounder. You have also inherited the genes of Oor Gounder family. And with your outstanding cognitive abilities (intelligence, memory, creativity and thinking), you cannot be submissive to anybody in the world. Keep going strong, I will always be with you.”

My grandfather was the lion in whose shadow Appa grew in strength and confidence, always assured of that lion’s protection and the sense of security that came with it. That sense of security and the feeling of being protected was the one thing Appa felt that parents needed to impart to their children, so they could grow up with the confidence needed to face the world as adults. So, for me, Appa was that lion - strong, courageous and assertive in his own inimitable way - casting his long shadow on everything I do and aspire to do. And for that, I remain eternally grateful.